No More Than A Child
by kitfreaks
Summary: [used to be a oneshot] Kuwabara considers Hiei
1. Chapter 1

A battle ended, somewhere deep in the Makai. The demon the Spirit Detectives had faced was powerful, nearly an S class. The fight had been going on for a some time when Hiei called forth the black dragon, and while he didn't kill it, he hurt the demon badly enough that is was easy to finish off.

A fact that Hiei had never shared with the others, and never intended to, was that in addition to severe exhaustion that left him comatose for hours. Summoning the black dragon created the sort of high that was normally only attainable through the use of highly illegal herbage. As the dragons aura faded the enjoyable high seeped away, replaced by familiar bone-numbing exhaustion, he didn't bother to fight it. His knees buckled and he was unconscious before he hit the ground.

The detectives had a long way to walk before they would get to the portal. Since Kurama and Yuusuke both had minor injuries Kuwabara offered to carry Hiei. As the other two started walking toward the portal that would get them back to the ningenkai, Kuwabara leaned down, effortlessly scooped up the small fire demon and froze. Intellectually he knew the fire demon was small. It was the sort of detail that could easily be deduced at a glance. Kuwabara had devoted many enjoyable hours to teasing Hiei about that very feature.

But it was only then that it really hit him. Hiei weighed no more than a child. Shizuru could have carried him with little effort. He stared at the fire demon in his arms, and for the first time really looked at him. He saw his narrow shoulders, small chest, and the waist so thin he needed two belts. He had never realized how delicate the fire demon looked. He tried to squash the protective urge that swelled up inside him, dismissing it as lunacy. Hiei didn't need protecting, he had been forged in the fires of the Makai. Still he couldn't help but wonder if anyone had ever protected the little demon. His companions call jerked him from his musings.

"Hey Kuwabara, is something wrong? What's the hold up?"

"Nothing, I thought I sensed something, but it was nothing. Lets get home."

A little over an hour later, The detectives arrived at Kurama's house. Kurama Told Kuwabara to leave Hiei on the couch, to sleep. He and Yuusuke went into the kitchen to raid the fridge. Kuwabara paused by the couch, then still carrying Hiei he walked to the bathroom. A quick step on the scale confirmed his guess; Hiei weighed less than 90lbs.

"Someone will just have to make sure he eats more."

He walked back to the couch and gently laid the fire demon down on it, He then found a blanket and carefully draped it over him, before leaving to join Yuusuke and Kurama in their feeding frenzy.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I really don't have a explanation for this chapter.**

Kuwabara was a man on a mission. The first step was observation. He had made it his mission to improve Hiei's eating habits, which as far as he could tell were nearly nonexistent. The fire demon ate like an anorexic bird. No wonder he was so small. However, Kuwabara was determined.

After some observation he discovered that Hiei had a serious sweet tooth. The most he had ever see the little guy eat was when Hiei single handedly inhaled a tub of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

The fire demon was also picky, he wouldn't eat anything that he thought humans had a handled or prepared. Unless it was coffee, Hiei was clearly addicted.

Kuwabara supplemented his mission by secretly checking out every book on nutrition the library had. Never before had he studied so fervently.

Finally he was ready to make his move. It would be subtle, brilliant. It would get Hiei to actually eat something that wasn't loaded with sugar or caffeine!!! His weapon, a bag of fresh oranges, clutched nervously in his hand.

He burst through the door of Kurama's house and shouted, "Hey everybody I got a bag of oranges!" He plopped onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table, Beamed at the room in general and looked to where Hiei was sitting in the window. "Hey Hiei, want an orange, they are really good."

"No." Hiei didn't even bother to open his eyes

"No?" Kuwabara repeated incredulously, his plan shattered. "How can you not want an orange? The are sweet, juicy, crammed full of vitamin C… They are the only food that is also A COLOR!!!" The entire room stared at him as though he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. "Try one!" he shouted as he tossed a piece of fruit to Hiei. He collapsed back down into his chair crossed his arms and prepared to pout. Yuusuke and Kurama exchanged a look, then edged carefully toward Kuwabara, as if worried he would explode.

"Of course we would like an orange Kuwabara, It was so thoughtful of you to bring them."

Kuwabara ignored them till he felt something hit him in the head. He felt it and found an orange peel in his hair. He looked up hopeful, was it… could it be…YES!!! Hiei was eating the orange!!!

He once again started chattering animatedly about how great oranges were. His elation knew no bounds. Next week he would get the little demon to eat some vegetables!


	3. Chapter 3

Apparently I am turning this story into a comedy. I should really know better.

blah blah disclaimer blah

It was unavoidable. The Oaf had to die. Hiei had endured many things in the course of his life. He had once spent two torturous weeks with a partner who licked his own feet. He had spent years as the personal punching bag of the gang of thieves that he grew up among. HE HAD SPENT THREE DAYS TRAPPED WITH A YOUKO WHO HAD LOST ITS HAIRBRUSH! Nothing complained like a fox with messy hair.

This was by far worse. Oh sure he was going to miss the relative freedom of _not_ being a wanted fugitive, and having to run from Yuusuke of all people was going to be a bitch. But he had reached the end of his tolerance.

It had started innocently enough; Urameshi had asked them all to meet him after school, most likely in deference to Kurama as the fox was the only one who bothered to attend class. They all met at Kurama's house and were listening to Botan prattle on about… something. The whole meeting was a waste of time since no one ever listened to Botan anyway. As usual the fool raided Kurama's fridge. Kuwabara happily loaded a huge plate, and in a disturbing break from tradition set the plate in front of him. The Buffoon plastered a stupid grin on his face and said: "Come on Hiei, eat your vegetables"

Disturbing though that incident was it had shut Botan up so Hiei couldn't consider it all bad.

That one incident was bad enough, but things went downhill after that. The oaf became obsessed with his eating habits. Not only did Kuwabara nag Hiei about eating every time Koenma called them together, he actually started hunting Hiei down in his spare time to try and nag him into eating loathsome human concoctions. Hiei was fast, but eventually even he had to sleep. If he woke up to the buffoons ugly stupid grin one more time we would be forced to gouge out his own eyes.

Hiei could have tolerated this, oh sure he was planning to break Kuwabara's arms, legs and jaw the first chance he got, but that would have settled the matter. Sadly the Oaf then decided to enlist help in his stalking campaign. Indulging two Very Unhealthy obsessions in a single act the oaf convinced Yukina to join in. YUKINA! Hiei was going to kill him, and it was going to be good…


End file.
